This has been my theme the last couple of weeks. It has not been an easy month here in Ghana. This verse I always thought it meant that when you are tired God will renew you but after the last couple of weeks it has come to mean so much to me. It now means when you have nothing left physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually God gives you strength to keep going to keep doing what He has sent you to do. A lot has happened within my family here at AIS and my family at home.
I have always heard missionaries say how hard it is to be overseas when there was a death in the family but I never really understood all the feelings you feel. The weekend I found out my grandpa died was a weekend that was supposed to be my recovery weekend. It was supposed to be the weekend I got over being sick. Instead it was the weekend I felt guilty and stressed and made myself become even sicker. I always knew I would feel sad if someone died while I was over here but the sadness faded rather fast because I knew I would see Grandpa again. The hard part was not being there for the rest of my family especially my mom. At this point I didn't care what I felt I just wanted to be there. It is funny how God just put the people you need at that point in your life. The night before I had an argument with my best friend here and I texted him Sunday morning because he is always the one that just gives me advice and he is really like the big brother i never had and even though the night before we just left it kind of unsettled and he was busy he just came over to give me a hug and tell me everything was going to be ok. Of course I didn't believe him at that time but he became my family when I wasn't around my real family.
That next week there was a student in the youth group at the church and who was really good friends with students at our school died. It hit our students unexpectedly and hard. I remember sitting in church with one of the students from school and I don't think i realized how hard it would be to go back to church after a death but it sure hit me that Sunday. Sitting in church with this student and me pretty much used a whole role of toilet paper that we took from the bathroom. However I realized something I got to talk to some students about how they felt and I could honestly say I knew what they were going through.
The next week was my birthday which I am usually really excited about. This year it just came. I wasn't really excited about it. Two out of my three best friends here were going to be out of the country and the other couldn't take time out of his busy schedule to hang out with me so I was pretty sure I was going to be by myself which I came to be ok with. I ended up going to the gym and then out to dinner with two of my school friends Kim and Meg. It was a lot of fun. I also got to go out for sushi the next night which i loved.
That Sunday in church I just really was reading my Bible I don't even know what the speaker was saying. I read in Ecclesiastes 3:1-17.It made me think that each of the times has a hard time with a renewing time I laid it out in my notebook here is what it says
To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven A time to
be born --- die
to plant--- pluck up that which is planted
to kill ---- to heal
break down--- build up
weep-- laugh
mourn--- dance
east away stones--- gather stones together
embrace--- refrain embrace
to get--- to lose
to keep ---- cast away
to rend--- to sew
to keep silence--- to speak
to love--- to hate
war --- peace
I then skipped to verse 11 and then 14
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. ... I know that whatsoever God doeth it shall be for ever nothing can be put to it nor any thing taken from it and God doeth it that men should fear before him.
The end of verse 17 God shall judge the righteous and the wicked for there is a time there for every purpose and for evert work.
Praise the Lord.
I have learned so much the last couple of weeks its been hard but I think God He gives strength to the weary and renews us.
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